An Easy Way to Find New Love ________________________________________________________________

by: William Martin

Have you ever noticed that it is easier to attract a potential partner if you already have one? Have you noticed that if you are not really looking for a relationship a lot more people show an interest, but if you get desperate they run a mile!

At least that has happened to me sometimes and from asking around it seems to be quite common. Rather than just putting this down to some bizarre quirk of human nature lets look a the cause of this behavior and see if we can make it work for us.

One of the keys to finding a mate is to not particularly need one, or at least not need one 'too much'. I find that if I need a partner too much that can drive them away. However, what do I do if I really feel desperate?

Another quirk of human nature is that our nervous system has a hard time telling the difference between an imagined experience and a real one. You only have to watch an exciting or scary movie to see how easily we can fool ourselves. This is the key to never being desperate about finding a partner. If we want to find a partner, then the best thing to do is imagine we have one already!

If we imagine we have the perfect partner and get into feeling how it would be to have that right now, this calms down our whole nervous system. It gives us a feeling of being fulfilled and takes away feelings of desperation. Especially if we really get into details; what you will do together, where you will go, what will you say, what will they say, and so on.

Please bear in mind that I am not talking about 'yearning' for someone. Sitting around yearning for someone is very different from imagining you already have them. Yearning is a feeling of 'not having', which primes us to feel desperate. We need to discourage ourselves from cultivating feelings of 'not having' and encourage ourselves to cultivate feelings of 'having'. You can easily tell the difference as the feeling of 'having' is a much better feeling!

You may say that this is just a trick of the mind. Well, the feelings that come as part of the package of 'lonely yearning' are tricks of the mind too. Feelings of failure, or feeling that we will never find anyone, are all part of the imagination - they are negative imaginings. That is using our mind and our imagination against ourselves and training ourselves to fail.

If this all sounds strange to you, remember what top athletes do if they want to improve their abilities. They imagine themselves achieving a better time in the race, lifting heavier weights, having more stamina, and the like. They imagine how they will feel to achieve their goals. Athletes don't mess around with techniques that don't work, especially when a few hundredths of a second difference means winning or losing. Successful business people do this sort of thing too. They imagine success and then move ahead from there.

By imagining we already have the perfect partner, and how it will feel, we train our subconscious mind to start making that happen. And, because we are more likely to be mellow about it, we are much more likely to make the most of it when the next opportunity comes along. If you are going to try this, and you are willing to spend a few minutes on it every day, get yourself a nice big stick ready... you might need it to keep all the interest potential partners at bay...

About The Author

William Martin offers a new slant on dating and relationships. He offers unique and wholistic tips and advice to finding - and keeping - the man or woman of your dreams. Check out http://www.meetyourgreens.com his free dating site, or this ebooks site http://www.fingerclickingood.com/ebooks/love_romance_culture_ebooks.html for ebooks on matchmaking, love and romance.

Affair of the heart: Friday headliner Rick Springfield woos new and old fans (Marin Independent Journal)For girls of the 1980s, it was so much more than dreaming of being Jessie's girl - the object of hearthrob pop star Rick Springfield's affection. It was being crushed in a mob, hoping to get close enough to stage so maybe, just maybe, when he wasn't too busy ripping on his guitar, he'd notice you.

Stem Cells Fight Lupus (KFSN-TV Fresno)In what's being called a huge development, researchers have now found stem cells can wipe out lupus in certain patients.

Morneau on offensive tear for Twins (MLB.com)Morneau's bat adding spark to torrid Twins

posted by femme_in_love at 3:45 PM >0 comments

Ten Things You Can Do Right Now to Find Your Perfect Mate ________________________________________________________________

by: David Steele

1. Start by losing the losers.

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren't right for you.

2. OK, available now? Next... are you "ready?" Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list your top five requirements

(non-negotiable deal-breakers) and vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn't meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let's get crystal clear about this "dating" thing. If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

-Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

-Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential) Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

- Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

That's it... nothing more, nothing less. No "trial relationships," no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support.

Don't do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you're looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy.

Success breeds success and misery loves company... your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don't simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you'll get less. Ask for what you want and say "No" to what you don't want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you're single.

"If you build it, they will come" (from the movie "Field of Dreams").

About The Author

David Steele, MA, has helped thousands of singles and couples get what they want from relationships. For an excerpt of his book, visit his http://www.consciousdating.com Website.

Mark Bechtel: My dream lineup during the Cup's first break (Sports Illustrated)Today is a significant day: For the first time since the start of the World Cup, there is not a single game being played.

Mauer's 5 RBIs lead Twins over Dodgers (AP via Yahoo! News)Win or lose, single or strikeout, Joe Mauer's demeanor rarely changes. Sure, the young catcher's smooth left-handed swing has produced plenty of success, but the Minnesota Twins are just as happy with his level head.

Kahn happy to cheer from the sidelines (Times Online)J?RGEN KLINSMANN HAS ACCOMPLISHED many things in two years as national coach ? creating an exciting, fast-paced playing style, uniting the country behind his adventurous side and getting even neutral fans to favour the Germans ? but perhaps his most extraordinary feat has been to turn Oliver Kahn into a contented cheerleader.

posted by femme_in_love at 1:15 AM >0 comments

Humor and Finding Your Perfect Match ________________________________________________________________

By: John Kinde

Recently, someone I know created a web site to meet Ms Right. In
his site he shared in great detail who he was and what he was
looking for. A great idea and nicely written with lots of humor.

After reading it, the humor side of my brain started asking
questions.

If I were designing my own personal web site, would it be
appropriate to include Google Ads.

Reasons for listing Google Ads.

1. If readers were bored with my biography, they would have convenient places
to go.
2. If readers loved what they saw and they sent their friends to
the site to check me out, their friends could shop for wedding
gifts while they were there.
3. If the site got no responses, at least I'd make a few bucks on
the side.

Reasons for not listing Google Ads.

1. The ads might be more interesting than my biography.
2. They might run ads for someone else's personal web site.
3. They might run ads for divorce attorneys.

That got me thinking about seven years ago when I was creating my
own internet personal ads looking for the right person. Did you
know that when you tell people you're looking for someone with
three eyes, people with only two eyes will respond to your ad
anyway?

I also discovered that a generic ad, maybe 25-50 words, usually
received no response. So I experimented with a long-form ad, over
1000 words. And would you believe that I included lots of
humor? Every time I posted the longer ad, I received around 50
replies. I'm not sure whether they were attracted to me or to my
writing!

In my ads I included an Online Personals Dictionary with dozens of
convenient translations of typical ad phrases into real-world
language. This was a tongue-in-cheek "public service" to help
people understand what personal ads were really saying. Here are a
few samples:

In shape = Round is a shape.
Swimmers build = A whale swims.
Honest = Will immediately stop chatting with you once you tell them
your age.
Open minded = Brains fell out years ago.
Good looking = Able to look at things really well.
Handsome = A quote from his mother.
Educated = Will treat you like an idiot.
Masculine = Looks like a caveman.
Age is relative = Looks like your uncle.
Athletic = Watches sports on TV.
Visits gym = Loves looking at self in the mirror.
Likes quiet evenings at home, candlelit dinners and walks in the
rain = Not an original thought in his head.
Long-term relationship = More than two weeks in length.
Love at first sight = When two lonesome, non-selective people meet
for the first time.

In the ad, throughout my self-description, I would drop in an
occasional bit of humor: "I've never robbed a bank. Neither have you. Convenience store OK."

The response was overwhelmingly positive. I only received one
negative reply in three posting of the longer, humorous ads. One
person suggested I was bitter. The writer was probably very much
in need of a laugh. The response told me it was definitely not a
match for me. The ad was doing its job.

The good news is that I met the love of my life through an online
ad. I now have a terrific relationship and we laugh together every
day.

John Kinde is a humor specialist who has been in the training and speaking business for over 30 years specializing in teambuilding, customer service and stress management. Special reports available: Show Me The Funny -- Tips for Adding Humor to Your Presentations and When They Don't Laugh -- What To Do When the Laughter Doesn't Come. Humor Power Tips newsletter and articles are available at http://www.HumorPower.com.

Back to Vietnam with a mission (The San Luis Obispo Tribune)The baby had pus coming out of its eyes, nose and ears. A simple round of antibiotics probably could have saved the child, but by the time they were administered, it was too late. The baby died in Sonny Higginbotham?s arms.

It's been a joy, but my work is not yet done (Guardian Unlimited)This ought to be the saddest statistic I have gathered since joining the Guardian thirty seven and a half years ago. There have been more than 11,600 daily editions of the paper since I joined the staff on St Valentine's Day, 1969: this edition carries my last regular contribution.

posted by femme_in_love at 12:48 AM >0 comments

What's Preventing You Finding Your Mr. Right? ________________________________________________________________

by: Michael Myerscough

There may be many reasons why you haven't found your perfect partner yet. Here's one of the main reasons many of my clients haven't found theirs, and how you can eliminate it as a problem from your life.

BTN Relationships

BTN? Better than nothing.

That may sound cruel, but you can spend months certainly and often years going out with men that, deep down, you know aren't the one.

What you have in these relationships is partial compatibility. Sometimes you'll meet someone who ticks most of the boxes on your checklist but not all of them. At this point you have a choice to make, do you move on immediately or not?

Most of us have at some point been in a relationship that was almost it. It's easily possible to spend years trying to get a relationship to work when it isn't really what you want. In itself that isn't necessarily bad, we learn amazing things about ourselves in any relationship and we're generally going to grow through the experience. However if your long term goal is to get married and set up home or to have kids then you might want to do a better job of protecting your time.

There is a saying within time management philosophy which states that the great should never be at the mercy of the good.

So how do you prevent yourself from getting stuck in a relationship with just the good? How do you ensure you don't get stuck in BTNs over and over again, spending years of your life in relationships that aren't going to last?

The 3 Month Rule

One of my dating clients Sheila, who's been very successful recently, told me of a strategy she's developed that she calls the three month rule. Sheila is convinced that this particular rule has already saved her a couple of years in her pursuit of Mr. Right. She was good enough to give me her permission to share it with you, so here it is.

It's very easy to understand in theory: If whoever you're seeing isn't lighting your lights after three months together then you move on. The things you want to be taking into account include the following: Is this person you're dating making enough time for you? Do you feel truly loved by them? Do you feel like they are one of your best friends? Do you feel like you can really trust your date? Do you still fancy the pants off them? Hopefully you get the general gist of where these questions are going.

Sheila's approach, which I think is brilliant, is to give it a maximum of three months to decide. This allows the relationship time to evolve and may allow you to work out some of the places where you initially feared there would be some level of conflict.

Personally I've always like three as a number, there's a beginning, a middle and then the conclusion. After three months it should be possible for you to make an informed decision about whether your potential Mr. Right is actually right for you. Your understanding of this all hinges on whether you have a clear idea of what makes a partner perfect for you. If you aren't clear on that then it makes it extremely difficult to leave. And remember, you'll be leaving people before you've argued the relationship to death and it often feels much harder as you still love them.

The upside in my experience both personally and professionally is that in the long run you get to keep someone who still feels like a friend even if you're not going to be lovers.

Want to know the secret to finding your Mr. Right? Visit www.HowToFindMrRight.com and sign up to the free e-course now.

About The Author

Michael Myerscough is a 16 year veteran of counselling and coaching people to have great relationships. Copyright 2006 The Relationship Gym. All Rights Reserved. May be freely copied and distributed as long as you include the following information: "By Michael Myerscough, professional speaker and relationship success coach. Michael has lots of great tips, tools and articles on his website that you can use. Visit him now at http://www.therelationshipgym.com and get access to 22 ways to Find Your Life Long Partner or Improve Your Current Relationship

AP Blog: College series to crown champion (AP via Yahoo! News)Now that the College World Series is underway in Omaha, Neb., AP writers will be filing periodic, behind-the-scenes reports during college baseball's main event:

Greatness in many guises (Haaretz Daily)WIMBLEDON ? Whenever tempted to get angry with the English, I remind myself that they still deserve a great deal of credit because of their gift to the world ? the invention of organized sport. It is the way of pioneers.

posted by femme_in_love at 12:36 AM >0 comments