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How to Get a Boyfriend
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Boys are very complicated.. they are not like women as you can read more about women lifestyle at www.womendiarynet, and they do not just want to be used as fashion statements. So if you want a boyfriend, make sure that you like him and are willing to be in a serious commitment with him, or at least you feel you may be if you get to know him better, and won’t break his heart. Below are some things that show ways to get your man by your side as your dating
First, if you do not already know him, then introduce yourself. If he is interested in you enough to want to get to know you better himself, he will add in some women conversation eventually.
Show him interest in his life.
Make it easy for him to be friendly and talkative with you, but not overpowering.
Invite him to a party… but not just to make out with him or anything, be friendly with him alone until he makes it clear that he really likes you, and wants to be around you.
At this point, just be yourself and let things unwind themselves.
Here is some simple women lifestyle personality dating tips :
If the person you like is shy, then be very gentle to him but admire him for his strengths, few men can resist being told how manly they are unless the girl who tells them is one they are very uninterested in.
Do not be afraid, if you feel you can go up to him without him bashing your heart against the wall (whether on purpose or not) and you notice his seeming interest in you, then you are probably okay.
And..
Do not use him… boys may be bad about using women, but they can still be weak around an irrisistable women even if they are not interested in her, which means breaking your heart and merely adding on his horrible guilt, or having a stalker who wants you for the WRONG reasons. So do not parade yourself around boys too much, for both your own good and their own good and your dating.
About The Author
Yulia Mardov
I'm a journalist writer about women lifestyle and personality, me and some closed group or women journalist writer write about women lifestyle, fashion, health, beauty and personality on tips and information at www.womendiary.net.
In some cases, I always assumed to put women as unrevealed gender that has many kind of interesting side to write about
Join us if you like and find more resources and partner for your women lifestyle and personality at womendiary.net
Revitalize Your Love Life!
www.femmefatalelovesecrets.com
posted by femme_in_love at
12:13 AM
12 Simple Steps To Overcoming Shyness With The Opposite Sex
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Getting over your shyness may seem impossible right now, but with a little effort and the desire to be more outgoing with the opposite sex then, you can definitely overcome shyness. It is important to know that the fears you feel when shyness hits you are typically always much worse than the reality of the situation.
Below, I've listed 12 simple steps to overcoming your shyness. These aren't magic solutions, but practice these steps and over time, your shyness will fade away and you will be left wondering what all the fuss was about in the first place.
Step 1. Fake it until you make it!
This is an infamous saying in the sales world. In other words; mimic or act like someone whom you admire and has all the personality traits you wish to have. This is a great way to start teaching yourself new behavioral habits. Put yourself in their shoes and play out real life situations as though you were them. This may sound crazy, but it does work!
Step 2. Ask yourself why you are shy.
Be honest with yourself. What are your real fears? What do you think people see when they talk with you? Answering these questions will help guide you into separating reality with what you are mistakenly perceiving it to be.
Step 3. Work on building your self confidence.
Yes, this will take effort on your part by reading books on the subject or listening to motivational tapes, but it works!
Step 4. Learn how to use daily affirmations.
Daily affirmations and positive mind influence can be very powerful tools to improve yourself. Again, this takes work but the power to change your shyness to confidence can come simply from saying things to yourself every day like "I like myself!" or "I am a winner!"
Step 5. Role play situations that make you anxious.
This may sound silly but take time out alone to Play-act situations that you get really nervous about. Pretend that you are talking to that guy or girl that makes you shy. Be that outgoing person that you wish to be. This play-acting will send messages to your sub-consciousness and help your inner-self change.
Step 6. Dress to impress.
Dress to impress, even if nobody is looking. Iron those clothes! Keep that hair neat! In other words, always look your best. This does amazing things to help you feel better about yourself and overcome shyness.
Step 7. Positive goals.
Start projects in life that make you feel good. Start a personal project, totally clean up your house clutter and your car. Work on a new hobby. How can these things help you with overcoming shyness? Simple - by working on things that make you feel good produces a natural aphrodisiac that turns you on and which indirectly turns on people around you.
Step 8. Reprogram your mental definition of shyness.
This goes along the same lines as using daily affirmations or by reading self help books. By changing your perception of shyness instead of having a negative attachment to the word, you will then help re-create your outlook on it.
Step 9. Learn to take risks.
How many times did you just want to go up to someone and tell them how beautiful they were, or how they impressed you with their clothes. As a daily exercise do this: Each day of the week go up to a total stranger and say something nice. It could be something as innocent as complimenting a pretty girl on her hair or a guy with his shirt. Do not worry about the outcome, do not worry about what they say, just do it!
Step 10. Face your fears!
Combat your fears of rejections by realizing that everyone gets rejected at one point or another, everyone! Learn not to take rejection personally. Use it as a tool.
Step 11. Get those dates.
A rather direct tactic, you can learn to overcome shyness by dating frequently. Practicing dating is the most successful way to rid your shyness but this takes a lot of nerve so date 'at your own risk'.
Step 12. Last but not least, be honest!
Tell people that you are shy up front, be honest with them. You will not believe just how nervous and shy the other person is as well. By just telling them you feel the same will help to put them at ease too. With both of you more relaxed, the date is sure to go much better.
About The Author
Roger Mayne is author of 100 First Date Ideas. Impress your date by being different to all the others. Take her somewhere she's not been before. 100 First Dates reveals great ideas that will sweep her off her feet, and have you looking like a complete hero.
firstdateidea.com
posted by femme_in_love at
12:20 AM
35 and Single
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It doesn’t matter how you got to be single in your mid-thirties. What does matter, however, is that you have certain priorities in order so that you can protect yourself and those you date from getting hurt. There are too many reasons to list on why you’re on the market at this stage in your life, but you should be clear on your goals, both long and short-term. You don’t want to be led on or trapped into something you didn’t want in the first place.
The very first things you need to consider are your short and long-term relationship goals. If you are a confirmed bachelor (or bachlorette) you definitely don’t want to be dating someone who is determined to settle down and start a family. Age is often tied to this as well. A twenty-something may be looking for a good time or to tie the knot. While a boy toy or trophy can be fun in the short-term, if you are looking for a serious relationship you may want to look elsewhere.
There are a lot of things to consider when dating either above or below your age bracket. If you fall for someone who is a lot younger, you may get hurt because they can lack maturity that comes only from life experience. Twenty-somethings are often still trying to figure out where they fit in, and are still forming their goals. Another problem is children; they may or may not want them. If you get really serious, as in any age bracket, you need to discuss each other’s views on children.
On the other hand, if you date someone much older than you there are some problems to be aware of as well. Older people tend to have already decided what they want out of life, and generally are not too excited to change course. If you really want to settle down, don’t go chasing after the man or woman who has no intention of a long-term relationship. Also, there are certain generation gaps that have to be considered. Your older lover may not appreciate going to see your favorite rock group in concert. With consideration and understanding, however, many obstacles of dating older and younger people can be overcome.
Another thing to consider is your financial position. Have you dedicated the last ten years to getting ahead in your career and the rewards that come with that? Are you willing to give up half of your money in a divorce? You will have to decide what is important depending on the person you are dating. Even people who aren’t married have had their lover run off with the bank account. Protect yourself, and if necessary, seek the advice of an attorney before you propose or accept a proposal.
Finally, if you have children you need to consider the type of people that are entering your life. Do you want to bring any and all of your dates to meet them, or are you going to wait for someone fairly serious? You also have to try to uphold the values that you want your children to follow in their lives. You are a role model, and how you conduct yourself does make an impression on your children.
In short, be smart about what you are doing. Don’t leave yourself open to be taken advantage of. Most of all, though, have fun and good luck in pursuing your romantic endeavors.
About The Author
Heather Jaillett writes for Dr Dating - If you are single and looking for love then this is the site for you. Articles, Reviews and Links to the best sites on the Internet and the DrDating Forum – a forum for people looking for help in love, relationships and dating.
admin@drdating.com
posted by femme_in_love at
1:26 AM
Looking for Mr. Right? 3 ways to guarantee you'll find him within a year.
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Are you looking to find your Mr. Right? Your perfect partner? A man that you'll love passionately, forever, and who'll love you back even more?
Then there are 3 things you must know or must do in order to make sure you get him.
1. Get Clear on Who He Is
Let me ask you this. If you don't know... what kind of personality he must have, what behavioural characteristics he must possess, what he must value in life, the keys to how he looks in order to be s*xually attractive, what do you think your chances are that you're going to find him?
Poor? Very Slim? Worse than that?!
If there's a key to success in anything (and let's face it you know this already) it's getting clear on your goal. Sound's a bit clinical when talking about future husband material, but it's a universal rule. If you don't know what your goal is in anything you do, you seriously damage your chances of getting it.
And we're not talking about the `dark hair, over 6 foot, sensitive, listens to me, loves to go shopping' list. What we're talking about here is identifying your most important emotional needs. The things that when they are met will make you feel `naturally' loved for ever by your partner.
Also you must know the behavioural patterns that a man has to exhibit to make you feel loved, cared for and passionate. And just as importantly the ones that turn you off big time. Things like
- the level of physical affection you require, whether or not he buys you gifts regularly and maybe even the fact that he likes spending time with your family.
You also need to know what you value in life in order to match sufficiently at that level too. If you demand adventure in your life to stay excited then you don't want to be wasting valuable time with a guy who, you eventually discover, gets his biggest kicks watching Saturday's match from the couch.
Once you're very clear on your needs - emotional, behavioural, value-wise - then you massively multiply your chances of finding your Mr. Right. In fact, if you combine this with the next 2 steps, I challenge you not to find him in 12 months! So the next must is...
2. Get Clear on Who You Need To Be
Don't worry! We're not talking personality makeover here.
Most of the time, what my clients need is some additional information, some insight, some ways of dealing with men to allow them to make the most of their own potential.
Why?
Because sometimes there's something stopping you attracting the right type of man.
What commonly stops my clients? Their self-esteem. They make themselves unavailable to men. Not maximising their body image. Not being able to flirt and attract enough men. Not being able to hold on to men. The list goes on.
Now don't get depressed. I'm sure not all of these apply to you! However, there's something that right now is preventing you from finding your man. Some piece of your behaviour that is blocking you. And you absolutely must find out what it is. More of that later...
3. Date Relentlessly
The last must:
You know who you want. You know what you need to do to attract him. The only thing left is to date relentlessly. Because dating is definitely a numbers game.
You need to be going on a minimum of 2 dates a week. Preferably more. If that sounds impossible/horrendous/not worth it, let me explain. There are 3 keys to allow you to do this.
a) Multiple dating
‘Going out’ with more than one man at a time. No - it's not immoral. You just need to be very clear about what is and what isn't acceptable for you and your potential dates. You must share that with your partners at just the right time. And you mustn't overstep your boundaries. Seriously, I've made that mistake, in the name of science, and it gets really messy, very quickly :-).
b) Modern dating resources
Pubs and clubs are very poor places to meet available men. To meet the numbers of men you need to, you must take advantage of some more modern dating methods - online dating, speed dating, singles parties, etc. Not only must you use them, but you must know how to get the number of dates out of them that you want.
c) Lots of dates, very few relationships
A date is not a night out. A date can be, and most of the time will be, a 20 minute ‘coffee break’ meeting. This allows you to fit in lots of dates and get to know whether there's any chemistry between the two of you. Your first date is almost always going to be going for a quick drink.
That's it.
3 must do steps. Know who you're after. Know what you need to do or be to find him. Date relentlessly (in the right way).
So what's stopping you?
Not sure where to start? Subscribe to a free `How to Find Mr. Right' course. Define your perfect partner, find out how to attract him and how to get the dates you need. Visit www.HowToFindMrRight.com and sign up to the free e-course now.
About The Author
Michael Myerscough is a 16 year veteran of counselling and coaching people to have great relationships. He is the author of `Finding Mr. Right', a book that guarantees you'll find your man within 2-18 months.
Copyright 2005 The Relationship Gym. All Rights Reserved. May be freely copied and distributed as long as you include the following information: "By Michael Myerscough, professional speaker and relationship success coach. Michael has lots of great tips, tools and articles on his website that you can use. Visit him now at http://www.therelationshipgym.com and get access to 22 ways to Find Your Life Long Partner or Improve Your Current Relationship”
posted by femme_in_love at
4:10 AM
Do Opposites Attract
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You've heard the saying, "opposites attract." Many people believe that finding a mate who is your opposite is like touching two electrical wires together. Sparks fly and things really heat up. The very idea is exciting: you zig, he zags. He is everything you are not, and vice versa. So, is it true that to find your life partner you should find your opposite? Unfortunately, the answer is "no". The reality is that opposites do attract, but they rarely stay together. If they do manage to stay married, the relationship is usually fitful and argumentative. Dating someone who is very different - someone who may have characteristics you wish you had - may be very exciting. But this excitement won't last long, and it won't be a good foundation for a happy marriage. Ditch diggers don't do well with doctors, social types aren't happy with homebodies, and spendthrifts are always at odds with pinchpennies. Study after study has shown that happily married couples have far more in common than they have differences. If you want the best chance of having a long and happy marriage, marry someone who's similar to you. Just because opposites tend not to stay together, however, it doesn't mean you have to marry your clone to be happy. Your soul mate is not someone who is identical to you. In fact, if the two of you think and act the same in every way, you'll probably soon get bored with each other. Here's the secret to a long and happy marriage: marry someone who is complementary. That is, someone who has characteristics you don't have but admire. That person is different enough to be interesting but is not truly your opposite. If you marry such person, you'll avoid a lot of conflicts and marriage problems that may otherwise ruin your relationship. The surveys' results When committed couples were surveyed for degree of similarity/dissimilarity here were the results: Physical beauty: people tend to mate with people who are generally considered the same degree of attractiveness. Beauty rarely marries ugly. A large difference in attractiveness may cause serious problems later in marriage. Education: successful couples generally match up well in educational levels. However, PhD's have marriage problems, too. What really seems to matter is not educational levels (grade levels or degrees) but intelligence. People tend to marry and stay married to people with similar IQ's. Class: yes, there are classes in America. Upper class people rarely marry people from the other side of the tracks. Country club types marry country club types. Ivy Leaguers marry Ivy Leaguers. The prince marrying the peasant girl is truly a fairy tale. Religion: quite often people from different religions marry, but the couples who stay together and are happy together generally agree about most spiritual matters. So, here's another compatibility tip: discussing religion and spiritual beliefs before the wedding will save you a lot of marriage problems. Money: When rich marries poor, the marriage is over either when the money runs out, or when the wealthy partner does. Family/children: to a very high degree, happy couples are in agreement about whether to have children, or how many to have. So, happy couples in successful long-term relationships are not carbon copies of each other. Neither are they clones or mirror images. It's the differences between partners that make the marriage interesting. But, when it comes to the major issues in a relationship, happily married couples are generally at a high level of agreement. Take a look at your own relationship. Before you make any major commitments, be sure that you and your partner are in agreement over the big things. Then, viva la difference! About The Author Dr. Stafford is a speaker, writer, class leader, and personal coach on topics important to Singles and Couples. As a relationship coach he helps men and women of all ages find the love of their lives and lives that they love. If you're tired of being alone, or worry you're with the wrong person, call or email Alan for a no cost introductory coaching call to see how personal coaching can benefit you. Copyright ©2006 Relationship Success Experts www.relationshipsuccessexperts.com alan@relationshipexperts.com Endgame Art? It's Borrow, Sample and Multiply in an Exhibition at Bard College (New York Times)The show's compilation of hybrid art is one of the most flawed successes, or interesting failures, that have appeared of late. Should music be free? (Canada.com)Rob Thomas says fans need to pay for music if they want to support new bands and artists. The single biggest issue facing the music industry these days is downloading and file-sharing. Town nixes commercial development proposal (The Little Elm Journal)Deadlines played a part in two Little Elm Town Council decisions at its regular meeting Tuesday night.
posted by femme_in_love at
8:00 AM
Happy Being Single
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You've heard the saying, "opposites attract". Many people believe that finding a mate who is your opposite is like touching two electrical wires together. Sparks fly and things really heat up. The very idea is exciting: you zig, he zags. He is everything you are not, and vice versa. So, is it true that to find your life partner you should "find your opposite"? Unfortunately, the answer is "no". The reality is that opposites do attract, but they rarely stay together. If they do manage to stay married, the relationship is usually fitful and argumentative. Dating someone who is very different - someone who may have characteristics you wish you had - may be very exciting. But this excitement won't last long, and it won't be a good foundation for a happy marriage. Ditch diggers don't do well with doctors, social types aren't happy with homebodies, and spendthrifts are always at odds with pinchpennies. Study after study has shown that happily married couples have far more in common than they have differences. If you want the best chance of having a long and happy marriage, marry someone who's similar to you. Just because opposites tend not to stay together, however, it doesn't mean you have to marry your clone to be happy. Your soul mate is not someone who is identical to you. In fact, if the two of you think and act the same in every way, you'll probably soon get bored with each other. Here's the secret to a long and happy marriage: marry someone who is complementary. That is, someone who has characteristics you don't have but admire. That person is different enough to be interesting but is not truly your opposite. If you marry such person, you'll avoid a lot of conflicts and marriage problems that may otherwise ruin your relationship. The surveys' results When committed couples were surveyed for degree of similarity/dissimilarity here were the results: Physical beauty: people tend to mate with people who are generally considered the same degree of attractiveness. Beauty rarely marries ugly. A large difference in attractiveness may cause serious problems later in marriage. Education: successful couples generally match up well in educational levels. However, PhD's have marriage problems, too. What really seems to matter is not educational levels (grade levels or degrees) but intelligence. People tend to marry and stay married to people with similar IQ's. Class: yes, there are classes in America. Upper class people rarely marry people from the other side of the tracks. Country club types marry country club types. Ivy Leaguers marry Ivy Leaguers. The prince marrying the peasant girl is truly a fairy tale. Religion: quite often people from different religions marry, but the couples who stay together and are happy together generally agree about most spiritual matters. So, here's another compatibility tip: discussing religion and spiritual beliefs before the wedding will save you a lot of marriage problems. Money: When rich marries poor, the marriage is over either when the money runs out, or when the wealthy partner does. Family/children: to a very high degree, happy couples are in agreement about whether to have children, or how many to have. So, happy couples in successful long-term relationships are not carbon copies of each other. Neither are they clones or mirror images. It's the differences between partners that make the marriage interesting. But, when it comes to the major issues in a relationship, happily married couples are generally at a high level of agreement. Take a look at your own relationship. Before you make any major commitments, be sure that you and your partner are in agreement over the big things. Then, viva la difference! About The Author Dr. Stafford is a speaker, writer, class leader, and personal coach on topics important to Singles and Couples. As a relationship coach he helps men and women of all ages find the love of their lives and lives that they love. If you're tired of being alone, or worry you're with the wrong person, call or email Alan for a no cost introductory coaching call to see how personal coaching can benefit you. Copyright ©2006 Relationship Success Experts www.relationshipsuccessexperts.com alan@relationshipexperts.com Positively Single - the art of being single and happyUS $1.82 (0 Bid) End Date: Monday Jul-17-2006 1:50:32 PDTBid now Add to watch list
posted by femme_in_love at
3:15 AM
An Easy Way to Find New Love
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by: William Martin Have you ever noticed that it is easier to attract a potential partner if you already have one? Have you noticed that if you are not really looking for a relationship a lot more people show an interest, but if you get desperate they run a mile! At least that has happened to me sometimes and from asking around it seems to be quite common. Rather than just putting this down to some bizarre quirk of human nature lets look a the cause of this behavior and see if we can make it work for us. One of the keys to finding a mate is to not particularly need one, or at least not need one 'too much'. I find that if I need a partner too much that can drive them away. However, what do I do if I really feel desperate? Another quirk of human nature is that our nervous system has a hard time telling the difference between an imagined experience and a real one. You only have to watch an exciting or scary movie to see how easily we can fool ourselves. This is the key to never being desperate about finding a partner. If we want to find a partner, then the best thing to do is imagine we have one already! If we imagine we have the perfect partner and get into feeling how it would be to have that right now, this calms down our whole nervous system. It gives us a feeling of being fulfilled and takes away feelings of desperation. Especially if we really get into details; what you will do together, where you will go, what will you say, what will they say, and so on. Please bear in mind that I am not talking about 'yearning' for someone. Sitting around yearning for someone is very different from imagining you already have them. Yearning is a feeling of 'not having', which primes us to feel desperate. We need to discourage ourselves from cultivating feelings of 'not having' and encourage ourselves to cultivate feelings of 'having'. You can easily tell the difference as the feeling of 'having' is a much better feeling! You may say that this is just a trick of the mind. Well, the feelings that come as part of the package of 'lonely yearning' are tricks of the mind too. Feelings of failure, or feeling that we will never find anyone, are all part of the imagination - they are negative imaginings. That is using our mind and our imagination against ourselves and training ourselves to fail. If this all sounds strange to you, remember what top athletes do if they want to improve their abilities. They imagine themselves achieving a better time in the race, lifting heavier weights, having more stamina, and the like. They imagine how they will feel to achieve their goals. Athletes don't mess around with techniques that don't work, especially when a few hundredths of a second difference means winning or losing. Successful business people do this sort of thing too. They imagine success and then move ahead from there. By imagining we already have the perfect partner, and how it will feel, we train our subconscious mind to start making that happen. And, because we are more likely to be mellow about it, we are much more likely to make the most of it when the next opportunity comes along. If you are going to try this, and you are willing to spend a few minutes on it every day, get yourself a nice big stick ready... you might need it to keep all the interest potential partners at bay... About The Author William Martin offers a new slant on dating and relationships. He offers unique and wholistic tips and advice to finding - and keeping - the man or woman of your dreams. Check out http://www.meetyourgreens.com his free dating site, or this ebooks site http://www.fingerclickingood.com/ebooks/love_romance_culture_ebooks.html for ebooks on matchmaking, love and romance. Affair of the heart: Friday headliner Rick Springfield woos new and old fans (Marin Independent Journal)For girls of the 1980s, it was so much more than dreaming of being Jessie's girl - the object of hearthrob pop star Rick Springfield's affection. It was being crushed in a mob, hoping to get close enough to stage so maybe, just maybe, when he wasn't too busy ripping on his guitar, he'd notice you. Stem Cells Fight Lupus (KFSN-TV Fresno)In what's being called a huge development, researchers have now found stem cells can wipe out lupus in certain patients. Morneau on offensive tear for Twins (MLB.com)Morneau's bat adding spark to torrid Twins
posted by femme_in_love at
3:45 PM
Ten Things You Can Do Right Now to Find Your Perfect Mate
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by: David Steele
1. Start by losing the losers.
If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren't right for you.
2. OK, available now? Next... are you "ready?" Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Get it handled!
3. Next, make a list your top five requirements
(non-negotiable deal-breakers) and vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn't meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.
4. Good job. Now, let's get crystal clear about this "dating" thing. If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:
-Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)
-Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential) Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)
- Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)
That's it... nothing more, nothing less. No "trial relationships," no fun flings; just these four steps.
5. Get support.
Don't do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.
6. Work it!
Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you're looking and network like crazy.
7. Be positive and happy.
Success breeds success and misery loves company... your choice.
8. Be the Chooser!
Go after what you want and don't simply react to what or who chooses you.
9. Be assertive!
If you settle for less, you'll get less. Ask for what you want and say "No" to what you don't want.
10. Live a great life NOW while you're single.
"If you build it, they will come" (from the movie "Field of Dreams").
About The Author
David Steele, MA, has helped thousands of singles and couples get what they want from relationships. For an excerpt of his book, visit his http://www.consciousdating.com Website.
Mark Bechtel: My dream lineup during the Cup's first break (Sports Illustrated)Today is a significant day: For the first time since the start of the World Cup, there is not a single game being played.
Mauer's 5 RBIs lead Twins over Dodgers (AP via Yahoo! News)Win or lose, single or strikeout, Joe Mauer's demeanor rarely changes. Sure, the young catcher's smooth left-handed swing has produced plenty of success, but the Minnesota Twins are just as happy with his level head.
Kahn happy to cheer from the sidelines (Times Online)J?RGEN KLINSMANN HAS ACCOMPLISHED many things in two years as national coach ? creating an exciting, fast-paced playing style, uniting the country behind his adventurous side and getting even neutral fans to favour the Germans ? but perhaps his most extraordinary feat has been to turn Oliver Kahn into a contented cheerleader.
posted by femme_in_love at
1:15 AM
Humor and Finding Your Perfect Match
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By: John Kinde Recently, someone I know created a web site to meet Ms Right. In his site he shared in great detail who he was and what he was looking for. A great idea and nicely written with lots of humor. After reading it, the humor side of my brain started asking questions. If I were designing my own personal web site, would it be appropriate to include Google Ads. Reasons for listing Google Ads. 1. If readers were bored with my biography, they would have convenient places to go. 2. If readers loved what they saw and they sent their friends to the site to check me out, their friends could shop for wedding gifts while they were there. 3. If the site got no responses, at least I'd make a few bucks on the side. Reasons for not listing Google Ads. 1. The ads might be more interesting than my biography. 2. They might run ads for someone else's personal web site. 3. They might run ads for divorce attorneys. That got me thinking about seven years ago when I was creating my own internet personal ads looking for the right person. Did you know that when you tell people you're looking for someone with three eyes, people with only two eyes will respond to your ad anyway? I also discovered that a generic ad, maybe 25-50 words, usually received no response. So I experimented with a long-form ad, over 1000 words. And would you believe that I included lots of humor? Every time I posted the longer ad, I received around 50 replies. I'm not sure whether they were attracted to me or to my writing! In my ads I included an Online Personals Dictionary with dozens of convenient translations of typical ad phrases into real-world language. This was a tongue-in-cheek "public service" to help people understand what personal ads were really saying. Here are a few samples: In shape = Round is a shape. Swimmers build = A whale swims. Honest = Will immediately stop chatting with you once you tell them your age. Open minded = Brains fell out years ago. Good looking = Able to look at things really well. Handsome = A quote from his mother. Educated = Will treat you like an idiot. Masculine = Looks like a caveman. Age is relative = Looks like your uncle. Athletic = Watches sports on TV. Visits gym = Loves looking at self in the mirror. Likes quiet evenings at home, candlelit dinners and walks in the rain = Not an original thought in his head. Long-term relationship = More than two weeks in length. Love at first sight = When two lonesome, non-selective people meet for the first time. In the ad, throughout my self-description, I would drop in an occasional bit of humor: "I've never robbed a bank. Neither have you. Convenience store OK." The response was overwhelmingly positive. I only received one negative reply in three posting of the longer, humorous ads. One person suggested I was bitter. The writer was probably very much in need of a laugh. The response told me it was definitely not a match for me. The ad was doing its job. The good news is that I met the love of my life through an online ad. I now have a terrific relationship and we laugh together every day. John Kinde is a humor specialist who has been in the training and speaking business for over 30 years specializing in teambuilding, customer service and stress management. Special reports available: Show Me The Funny -- Tips for Adding Humor to Your Presentations and When They Don't Laugh -- What To Do When the Laughter Doesn't Come. Humor Power Tips newsletter and articles are available at http://www.HumorPower.com. Back to Vietnam with a mission (The San Luis Obispo Tribune)The baby had pus coming out of its eyes, nose and ears. A simple round of antibiotics probably could have saved the child, but by the time they were administered, it was too late. The baby died in Sonny Higginbotham?s arms. It's been a joy, but my work is not yet done (Guardian Unlimited)This ought to be the saddest statistic I have gathered since joining the Guardian thirty seven and a half years ago. There have been more than 11,600 daily editions of the paper since I joined the staff on St Valentine's Day, 1969: this edition carries my last regular contribution.
posted by femme_in_love at
12:48 AM
What's Preventing You Finding Your Mr. Right?
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by: Michael Myerscough There may be many reasons why you haven't found your perfect partner yet. Here's one of the main reasons many of my clients haven't found theirs, and how you can eliminate it as a problem from your life. BTN Relationships BTN? Better than nothing. That may sound cruel, but you can spend months certainly and often years going out with men that, deep down, you know aren't the one. What you have in these relationships is partial compatibility. Sometimes you'll meet someone who ticks most of the boxes on your checklist but not all of them. At this point you have a choice to make, do you move on immediately or not? Most of us have at some point been in a relationship that was almost it. It's easily possible to spend years trying to get a relationship to work when it isn't really what you want. In itself that isn't necessarily bad, we learn amazing things about ourselves in any relationship and we're generally going to grow through the experience. However if your long term goal is to get married and set up home or to have kids then you might want to do a better job of protecting your time. There is a saying within time management philosophy which states that the great should never be at the mercy of the good. So how do you prevent yourself from getting stuck in a relationship with just the good? How do you ensure you don't get stuck in BTNs over and over again, spending years of your life in relationships that aren't going to last? The 3 Month Rule One of my dating clients Sheila, who's been very successful recently, told me of a strategy she's developed that she calls the three month rule. Sheila is convinced that this particular rule has already saved her a couple of years in her pursuit of Mr. Right. She was good enough to give me her permission to share it with you, so here it is. It's very easy to understand in theory: If whoever you're seeing isn't lighting your lights after three months together then you move on. The things you want to be taking into account include the following: Is this person you're dating making enough time for you? Do you feel truly loved by them? Do you feel like they are one of your best friends? Do you feel like you can really trust your date? Do you still fancy the pants off them? Hopefully you get the general gist of where these questions are going. Sheila's approach, which I think is brilliant, is to give it a maximum of three months to decide. This allows the relationship time to evolve and may allow you to work out some of the places where you initially feared there would be some level of conflict. Personally I've always like three as a number, there's a beginning, a middle and then the conclusion. After three months it should be possible for you to make an informed decision about whether your potential Mr. Right is actually right for you. Your understanding of this all hinges on whether you have a clear idea of what makes a partner perfect for you. If you aren't clear on that then it makes it extremely difficult to leave. And remember, you'll be leaving people before you've argued the relationship to death and it often feels much harder as you still love them. The upside in my experience both personally and professionally is that in the long run you get to keep someone who still feels like a friend even if you're not going to be lovers. Want to know the secret to finding your Mr. Right? Visit www.HowToFindMrRight.com and sign up to the free e-course now. About The Author Michael Myerscough is a 16 year veteran of counselling and coaching people to have great relationships. Copyright 2006 The Relationship Gym. All Rights Reserved. May be freely copied and distributed as long as you include the following information: "By Michael Myerscough, professional speaker and relationship success coach. Michael has lots of great tips, tools and articles on his website that you can use. Visit him now at http://www.therelationshipgym.com and get access to 22 ways to Find Your Life Long Partner or Improve Your Current Relationship AP Blog: College series to crown champion (AP via Yahoo! News)Now that the College World Series is underway in Omaha, Neb., AP writers will be filing periodic, behind-the-scenes reports during college baseball's main event: Greatness in many guises (Haaretz Daily)WIMBLEDON ? Whenever tempted to get angry with the English, I remind myself that they still deserve a great deal of credit because of their gift to the world ? the invention of organized sport. It is the way of pioneers.
posted by femme_in_love at
12:36 AM
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